"Let me take you to the movies...."- houses of the holy by led zeppelin

yeah let me take you to the movies ..plaease... sigh... but yesterda (teachers' day) was like super fun..! went to school in pe uniform..with sticks and carrying my bro's Heineken crumpler when im not supposed to be using it..and packed my clothes for the performance.. then me jelly and jerry were walking together and ms elisa tan popped out in front of us... and then i said hello..u need any help with ur bag.. and she said no its ok.. and then she asked me if i performing today and all.. and i said yah..and told ehr to sing along! and she was asking what were the other acts and all and talking about sji also... then went off.. to hall where all the performers were.. our line up was to do hey jude and with dillon on keys, bryan lum on guitar and hass on vocals... so yeah we got ready and stuf.. then had a technical rehearsal... so just ran through the coda.. several changes were made.. like dillon's key board had to be softened... and a mic was given to me for back up.. so then rehearse rehearse then students came to hall... mr kooh was like..oh i didnt know u can play drums.. and ppl like bryan lin was like i'll be watching you! then ms tan was walking aimlessly...looking for her class and all she was giving them some cookies and stuff.. coz its her last day and all in sji.. and then we performed and wow... we didnt expect such a good response... they were clapping at the start of the performance itself...lol... and then the teachers were singing along and all..even kumudha! llol... then during the coda..out of nowhere mr jude tan popped out... and he was dancing.. the performance was good.. but there were several technical faults..
hass's mic chord was so loose it came off towards the end... and the mic for me was so soft i couldnt hear myself..! it was ok other than that....

then ms tan called me up and said she wanted to give me some stuff.. and then she gave me like a load of chocolates and asked me to share with my band members..lol! then towards the end kenzo asked me if i knew her and asked for a pic.. so yeah i asked her..sshe asked dillon to come in it since he was in the band and snap... lol i was tryiong to control my laughter...coz jelly jerry and andrew were laughing behind us...

then i hugged her and said good luck in NIE.... lol the best was..after the whole thing and was waiting for my sis bf to pick up the drum set.. and she walked past with other teachers and i was like bye..and she was looking around ..and then i said..wah tao ...then she said,.oh bye.. and then marcus khoe was staring at me..LOL!

well..it was a fun day... bad results means alot of studying...mug time!

if i were dead...would my records sell?

okay.... rehearsals on tuesday sucked.. really bad..everyone was restless and all.. but today.. we pulled it off..ppl were singin along and alan johnson was having his thumbs up... so anyway... yeah anyway..

im going to do the unexpected on friday..just watch me

junebug.. skipping like a stone


went for rehearsals yesterday... at 8 am..i went late at about 8 20... but lukily they havnt start.. they were all playing ping pong with their hands.lol i go join.. kevin,ruizhi,george,amos,ezra aik and his indian friend (lol i forgot his name) and alan johnson was there ..with our line up...me,hass,dillon and josh was there too..

so we were up first..and i gto to say tt was the time i saw mr johnson act the wierdest ever... he was like shouting "ARE WE GONNA ROCK???" and he kept throwing ping pong balls at random ppl or rather things... sso we started 1979 first but it was not as good..so he didnt want to waste time..so went on to hey jude... has some problems witht the set arrangement at first..but later on it was ok... so he told us..beatles being 100 percent... he gave us a 90..not so bad..but i think could be improved..if all goes well jamming on monday..and tuesday is last rehearsal i think... and tts our last chance to try 1979.. first i was suppose to sing and no drums..but lol i convinced dillon that drums are damn essential for tt song! so he said he'll try emu... but lets hope he wants to sing..hass cant coz he has tt slang lol.. he said "to shake these zipper blues " as "to shake these zeeeeper blues" and he also pronounced "junebug skipping like a stone " as "junebug skeeeping like a stone".... lol..

so after tt josh had to leave earlier coz his mom was there already... then me hass and dilon went to kfc... gobbled and laughed alot... and then went back home... sleep for damn long (WAH FUCKING TIRED! the night before had to go jamming came back at 11 plus,...so slept at like what ? 4 am.. and woke up at 6?) so yeah then woke up at 4 30 pm... after tt 3 hour nap and go info to how to go to paya lebar methodist grls school.. coz of the black and white tones thing that me dillon josh and ms adeline tan signed up for... so went there at 7 sharp.. (damn long journey there... ) so then..there was this guy in a long sleeved man u jersey asking me if theres a concert somewhere and i had t guide him there.. and he was like asking me about music and all..like what kind i fmusic i listen to and if i play any music and stuff like that... im kind of scared of indian men who try asking me these kind of questions..evn though i know he's trying to be friendly.. but ever since tt gay incident... woo.. scary... but yeaha i noe where he;s getting at so not so bad..

then adeline tan and dillon came.. and she had a very "interesting" friend with her... and dillon was rather "curious"... so then we went in..and wow....what a show it was.. they plugged in thier keyboards into an apple laptop each... and then they cjust switched instruments on the com... and whatever they keyed in followed the instrument ...from guitar to drums... from woodwind to brass.. and the one i liked the most was the second one... hope... by jon he and some haikal guy.... they were lasalle cllege of the arts ppl/... and it was an original composition.. and i like the theme very much.. it was about an old man trying to find peace coz he; going to die.. and so he tries flashing back to all his good and bad times but he still doesnt find any peace.. but he relaises he only get speace when he eventually dies.. so yeah i liked the message coz its one that ive always folowed.. that earth is a hell hole.. like a land to test you.. and when u die.. uve accomplished all u could.. so u find peace...

and others that i liked were .... i forgot the name of it but i only liked 1 out of the 3 short parts of it... it was called peek a boo.. the arrangement was intriguing.. they combined tt weird soung from super mario theme music and a vaiety of others.. and also festive overture was the opener and it was also ineterstin... as long as arranegmen is concerned tt was the best... coz they comibned a whole lot of diff intruments but its not original it was also played in moscow olympis.. but i aslo like how they did electric dreams by human league.... it was like a duet between .. the music in the com and a cello.... very nice..


so yeah..then me and dillon went to eat... and then went home and in the mrt.. we were listening to 1979 again and again until we got the timing spot on...

yeah.. fuck you..an ode to no one


okay emo emo...results like shit..tts why had the post famine... results was seriously beyond bad..my worse so far! but life goes on... and i learnt along the years.. when u fail in a subject u usually get an a1... u obviously feel disappointed and maybe if as sensitive as me suicidal....but as i learn..failure is nothing... it seriously isnt..better fail now than in o levels..or streaming... but i cant say that all the time..coz in my o levels if i screw up i can also say the same thing and aim to do well in tertiary..but lose out.... so yea...i feel suicidal and disapponted ocassionally when i reflect on what happened..usually when im aimless...restless and lethargic..

other than that..i think of something more terrestrial like...rather than a bunch of triangle without its hypotenuse side labelled... yeah u know what i mean...

seriously...(incognito for terrestrial; the heaven)

the heaven is like so damn likeable and its just so....conversational...and friendly..i said hello 2 heaven (haha pun..refer to temple of the dog) and heaven waved back... and even said hello.. but saddest was when i was walking past ....heaven apparently said hello to me first.. but i didnt know and just walked away.... silly me..but at least i know heaven is friendly! yay heaven! but sadly heaven is going back on teacher's day...

so... hey jude and 1979 is the line up for our performance...i think... today jammed damn late in the evening... about 7 45 ended at 9 05... we focused on perfecting 1979 alone and no messing around..but it was just me josh and dillon... so at first i attempted vocals..with dillon on the squire... but fucked up the timing..so i just did drums..which were like fucking easy...and lol i was trying out sunshine of your love..and josh took over vocals for a while..he wasnt so confident to i went back in for vocals... and well timing was off a bit... but i think it sounded ok... but later on it got better...but josh is doing 1979 for us...;for the real thing..so just getting familiarised..so anyway..

tmrw... rehearsal in school at 8 am... and later got plmgs concert to attend.. digital music.. called black and white something... with dillon and joshua... i just hope rehearsal we dont screw up and alan johnson better give me a fucking bass drum!

what am i doing??? my legs just dont move to get that math book.. i failed badly..not ust failed..failed badly..why can tt asshole send me to josephine wee's class..it'd be a load better than sitting in his boring,"philosophical",taunting lessons.... why cant he be more straightfoward... like..ok..kumarr..uve been failing..this is ur brink of allienation get the fuck out of my class.. i can't stand it any more more..!!!! im not blaming him.. im advising him what would be better...i blame myself for getting distracted by ms lim's words..i guess it was a test...if i fail bio..by even 1 mark..i would be speechless.. already i got tt urethra question, thet "t" as gall bladder and the which part releases some thing..(forgot).... tt most to most..4 or 5 marks..and plsu i cant rmbr i put diffusion or osmosis..but i know myself if it was red ink i would have put diffusion but fuck i cant rmbr if i was fulled with the partially permeable membrane! if i was...GG coz if tt statement is wrong the whole question (about 5 marks) is gone... i cant fucking afford that!!!! fuck..fuck..fuck...fuck..fuck..fuck... i need a b3...at least.. if i do very well for rest of subjects..im like nto tt bad.. coz its only math.. but hey... mother tongue marks was a pain in the ass..69.25!!! cheebai! fuck lah...7o lah.. and english.. is hanging there for the a1..its 77 so far without tt compo..so i have to do reasonably well for tt compo..but i thnk shd be ok..

time to emo now..with my new emo song..... and also now my favourite song since i listen to it at least once everyday and the musicianship is like..... watttaa... and it owns everything.... They hold no quarter!

and i heard ribbon is transferring to sji in october...yay...but sad for him coz wira is out to whack him..haha... ribbon all the best...but i think if u staying for sec 2 u'll end up in my class coz my class daryus just left to uwc..so there's space..

A random poem made by yours truly about three diff teachers of mine.. p.s: it doesnt mean i hate all of em..just stating how some of them think they might eb right but are wrong to us students... first one refers to ms lim.. how wise she may be.. that she has her way of doing things and expects certain things from you..but dont understand your situation... second one.. is on jude tan.. how he is like a sickle..who just attacks u..but dont know how that person will feel but he thinks that its ok... coz he is in a way taunting you tu study harder,...but still it could be done in a better way..the mirror..of course mr kooh.. how he thinks he's so pro in this and that and how he wants everyone to believe what he believes in..but cant and isnt coz he's just a mirror...he cant see his own reflection..when a teacher is suppose to show a students reflection... but hey..a reflection cant see its reflection..


as wednesday draws near
my gut compresses
to the equal of a needle
i am utterly overwhelmed
how irregular and fallible
the book men are...

The wise folk

the wise folk that believe
in fairies taking them to heaven
despite the Innocent's,
reasonably apt temple

The Sickle

the sickle, that delves
into your body
like it never knew
what was left deep,
beneath the skin...

The mirror

The mirror that thinks
it's the fairest of them all
but when played a simple trick
finds reality from bread
even with the gong of 12
he sneers and taunts
his brutus, he discipled
from brutus the stab came
there laid the mirror
broken in pieces
unknown to his true self,for,
a reflection had no reflection

ok...emo emo me... math can kiss my ass... frking low..lowest in class wont be surprised if lowest in level.. dun want to talk about it..i know why i got so low.. not to blame ppl..but ha;f the paper ms lim was telling me about how the class was disorganized... well but i still got nothing but to blame myself..

at least the day didnt suck tt bad.. 69... (still 70 in my heart coz its 69.25) and english is going good..but didnt top it this time.. second test got 3rd.. i got 36 sudhirr and wen han got 38... so total sudhirr is tops now.. i dunno how much han got previously..so cant tell just yet... so english is a1..so far..and will further...

i dunno have a weird feeling bio i didnt get an a... i wil be shocked if i get a c or anything lower.. even if i fail... and i dont want to be embarrassed if i failed by a blow.. but hey..i dont have pride...i really dont.. i used to..but this year..i lost it.. so i got nothing to lose..except getting bitched about by parents.. geog..come on i know i can do it! lit is good for now.. i mean my second question was ok just tt inference could have been clearer...

but calculated if i get 60 plus for bio.. and 70 for the rest i still get llike average 61...omg,... gg...hopes high..up the irons..and aces high!


comedy

A clip from one of the best comedy movies (mock rockumentary)

This is Spinal Tap

The guitar solo at 6 mins 48 sec...omg..damn funny.. and the part when they try to find the stage entrance..and they are so hyped up like..."ROCK AND ROLL!" but they keep ending up at the same place...rofl... if u wanna watch the whole movie its on youtube.. search spinal tap part 1

from clockwork orange..

not the best scenes to me..for me best was either the nazi procession with beethoven or teh singin in the rain rape and murder

lol..i think i got a new all time favourite movie... it's between 4 of em....

1)A Clockwork Orange
2)The Secret Window
3)V for Vendetta
4)American History X

all 4 of em are controversial and artistic movies.. and well all of em except for american history x were adapted from novels.. but however the most artistic movie that probably brought out the best meaning to me..that i can apply to my own life..is probably A Clockwork orange.. despite it being an old movie..1970s.. the camera work was good..stroy board was excellent and the acting was way beyond spectacular....

i kind of liked the idea of the back ground of the droogs.. like the starting when u see alex in the middle with that eye thingy and all of em have tophats in white with a crotch guard thingy...and carrying a weapon and drinking milk.. sitting in a room of naked mannequins.. it just makes you want to watch it more...

it;s not tt im a sick bastard that i love the movie..its just tt the title and ending is amazing ... A clock work orange is someone who can only do good or evil..and tts how we all are..the way we are brought up determines if we are good or evil.... our choices are detrmined by our needs and values.. and our needs and values are determined by the way we are brought up..and the way we are brought up it determined by the way our parents are brought up.... so well in a way..the cycle goes on..where ur parents are brought up in such a way coz their parents were brought up in tt way...and so on.. so it just goes to show... how god (if you aren't an atheist) determines what you are.. so when god started this world (im saying this coz..i cannot find a proper logical reason.. coz i believe god created us..) he or she probably creates this man in such a way and this girl in such a way..and then he or she goes on reproducing what they are..and tt person is brought up the way the parent thinks is right... unless.. (in latet generations) someone is there to change the ways in which one is beign broguht up[..hence this is probably a generation break kin d of thing where the way of upbringing is changed... like american history x.. when they were probably not brought up as nazis..and then the father was killed by a black guy and they believe black peple are the scourge of the society..coz of his dad's last words..so their upbrining is changed.. and then...its changed back again coz of the time when he goes to jail and learns tt black people are the same as them... but who knows it probably changed back when he found out his brother was shot by a black guy..

so it's an issue... tt i felt clockwork orange brought it out well.. like they try scientific methods.. and diff ways to change alex..but in the end..he was thinking of many diff things...like crimes and so on.. and then the cam focues on his face..grinning.. (an evil grin to me) and he says "i was cured alright"

but its also sad that even when he wants to change..the society doesnt accept him..when the beggar asks him for a quarter and alex who was supposed to hate beggars who were old coz he felt especially when they were singing away in the dead of night in an empty alley .."like a filthy old orchestra in his filthy old guy" ...but he still gives him a quarter unlike what he always does.. but the beggar is like..i know u ..u were in the papers..u idiot..and they start kicking him..with other old men.... and punching him away... (ingrates) and then two policemen come and take him away..and sadly the policemen turned out to be 2 of his droog members... dim and the other skinnier guy.. and dim was like "well well well well..who do we have here..but good old alex!" and then they take him away to some place and shove his head into a container of filthy water and keep punching him here adn there.. it's just sad...







enough of reviewing clockwork orange... well good news for me.. my sis bf is willing to give me his pearl drum set.. woohoo... i was like wtf! i can own a fucking set to myself?!?!?!now all i need to do is clean all my stuff from tt extra white elephant table so we can throw it away and shift the super shiny drum set there...woot!

We are all clockwork oranges!'

i watched clockwork orange on youtube yesterday until part 10/14... without part 9 coz there's some error..yeah im a pirate.. and omg..the movie rocks.. it's a 70s movie..but im telling you old movies own new movies... in terms of content.. but hey clockwork was adapted from a novel and so was v for vendetta and so was shawshank redemption and so was secret window.. and these movies happen to be my most favourite movies of all time.. im still trying to find vertigo..but wtf its like no where!

clockwork orange means.. a mechanical human.. coz the whole movie teaches us that a human is either born to be good or eveil.. clockwork meaning mechanical./.and orange.. reffering to the malay word "orang" which means man... a cool title..that's what intrigued me.. and omg the trailer did also.. the main character, alex looks damn cool.. like with those extra eyelashes drawn under his eyes..only on his right eye..and he's always oh so happy and well..very relaxed.. and with his 3 other pals..they call themselves the droogs.. but then yeah backstabbing and all.. coz alex was pissed with one of them called dim.. coz hhe's always grinning and all even when he does somethingwron.. then he whacks with him some stick thingy into the water and the others are damn pissed..and then he's like now i hope u noe who;s boss.. and then his next crime was when he went to an old lady's house and said could u help me call and ambulance and all tt bull..then he sneaks into her house and finds a penis statue and kills her with it..but lol..the scene although bloody.. was kind of funny..coz she kept slipping off the penis coz it was so smooth.. then he went out and he was like guys the police are here..we got to run,..and they just stand still there adn then dim takes our some glass and whacks alex with it and thtye deasert him..

that;s when he goes off.. to jail..where his father always rejecting him ..like just deserst him also..but alex doesnt give a damn.. so well during his time there..he didnt ask for ttrouble but ..in his mind.. like when the church pastor liked him very much coz he was the only one interested in reading up on the bible and all..but its actually cause he was visualising himself as one of those people bringin jesus up the cross..and fighting with all the innocent people and having sex with all the lovely young maidens... so yeah..tts what he felt..he also mentioned that he likes the sight of blood...and stuff like that.. an then later afetr a certain incident with the internal affairs minister who paid a visit to the prison..he goes to a mental facility to get cured.. and then over there...they give him a certain ttreatement where they open his eyes and put some clippers there so it wont close..and they drop eyedrops in it..coz if not the eyes would feel very dry..and somehow this makes his memories and all; up to a big screen and stuff like he raping a girl..with his fellow droogs..and also he murdering others ... stuff like that.. but he always hated it..especuially when he saw himself raping the girl and he was like no..no..no.. please stop it..but i think he was saying that coz of the fucking eyedrops and the fact that he couldnt close his eyes..like he dint have a choice but to see it../. and then he says he feels sick which he never felty before and the nurse was like ur sick coz u're getting cured... so well im gonna watch part 11 now..

something in the way - Nirvana

there are lots o things in the way...teacher;s day performance..exams...hockey...class com shit.. (ms lim states tt she is disappointed in me...gg on monday... coz im not doing what a seceratary does..) yeah..well i can accept tt..but i have my reasons..i dont want to be class com anymore..i mean i have no offence with ms lim..in fact she helps me ALOT... but sometimes...she's either illogical or in a way unaware of how some one feels in a certain situation if he asked something at a certain time.. like asking me about class stuff during my exam papers..so far tghe papers she screwed me up for..are the 3 hardest subjects there are tt i take this term.. math..geog and bio...

and like she's illogical coz sometimes.... she just asks for details that don;t really matter... and also she's a bit too sensitive..i understand tt women are generally sensitive and even men are.. rather boys..im very sensitive but in a way that doesnt affec others.. but the way ms lim is being sensitive is just too harmful to those working around her... well maybe just her students.. she keeps telling the class com..that we are lousy and all coz we cant control the class... but hey... look at the other classes..they quieter than us? maybe..but coz their teacher is there always earlier than ms lim is.... we got proof coaz we have tried going around the level pereviously... come on.. we are boys...who have ccas...who have social connections..who do this and that everyday..like every human being but we are boys...boys talk..its not just a stereotype tt girls talk more than guys..they giggle and chat mroe..coz they are open minded and sensitive..guys are different..we like to socialise..although not so open minded...we still are human beings and have feelings..that we are young..have friends..and majority not the matrue type who know that its disrespect to do ceratin things in certain times.. but ms lim..doesn't seem to understand that

don't get me wrong.. i am not putting ms lim in a negative light..but im just pointing out what is in my ponmt of view...she has helped me and is helping me in diff ways.. i feel guilty coz this is not the way i repay her... but hey... im a boy...im growing mentally.... there's a feminine side in every male..unless you are someone who can't udnerstand human nature and think things too logically and not out of the box..the way math does.. i am open minded and i like ebing open minded coz..even ms lim taught me that self analysis is good to understand what's right and wrong..and that if you ask yoursefl why...like why am i feeling this way..why do i hate alan johnson? or why do i feel what appears to her rebellious..when what in my point of view is prioratising what is more important and what is less important...

highlights..

bio was ok... but have a bad feeling bout' it.... went to adam road to do food review..left drum stuff at josh's house before tt.. then went there to eat... and basically do food review with my group..joavan,sudhirr and wen han...

then... went back to josh house..dillon had to go back for trng..but i satyed at josh's house playing pool..fuck playing first time ok.. and i lost to him all the time..but hey.. it was nly left one ball and one ball... and omg..i was so unlucky..the last part lose the eight ball..then he go get both eight ball and his stripe...fuck...nvm...then josh rocks...his mom heloped send us to school with drums tuff.. hass came late..started the rehearsal/audition and it sucked..

i noe like my first few attempts on brushes were not good enough coz it wasnt loud... so i changd to sticks..it sounded good according to alan johnson..but timing between vocals dillon and i..were off..i agree..coz its first time i using sticks for hey jude...and now alan johnson letyting me use bass drum...so yipee... we hope if we can pull of hey jude..try doing soul to squeeze by rhcp..coz wish you were here..although one of my fav songs..and is a classsic which many teachers would like... i dont thinks students will like 2 old songs..so kick it up a notch and use elct..for soul to suqeeze..but hey i need a whole set! like good old times..did again at the piano.which we always play better at..and i did back up vocals..ruizhi helped and so did hass...lol damn funny..janet kwok..alvin chua and mr johnson all upstairs looking at us and talking botu our playing.. janet kowk said it was good but needed more feeling..

fuck..im so fucking emo...

play like shit
physically unfit
studies suck cock
words from janet kwok

its a bad rhyme..yea i noe..just felt like doing tt..coz tt was exactly why i was feeling emo... so we got new ideas.. like make it a kind of duet or someting... like hass says hey jude..dont make it bad take a sad song and make it better..and josh comes and goes.. remember to let her into your heart...(they sing together) then you can start to make it better..) and i do backup.. and my drumming adding bit new pieces in it... but fuck we play a whole lot better at the piano!

well i shall go listen to something in the way again...and listen to talk show host and exit music by radiohead.. fuck they are the best altern songs to feel; sad with!

but u gotta like exit music..the kind of atmosphere thom brings to it..he's like so depserate for her to live.. breathE! breathe!

Into the white - pixies




lit was manageable.. well first question and all were ok...but i dunno if my explanantion was good.. but my impressions fo the school master were... forgetful,old fashioned and anti social.. i linked it in such a way that forgetful and old fashioned contributed to his anti social behaviour... i said he was anti social coz of the last few lines...some thing abbout he standing under the white trees and he became more and mroe qwhite.. until he was unable to be seen... it sounded like the song into the whwite by pixies.. like he started to fade away...

"it's better to bum out than to fade away" - neil young

so like i interpreted that he was l;ike lonley..and he was probably lonely for a reason..coz no one accepted him for who he was like as if he was a "creep" - radiohead... coz of his bad fashion sense.. and his absent mindness... like no one wants to befriend some one who is forgetful and tt isn't "hip" and "kool"...

and for second queestion i said.. i felt unwilling towards aging.. coz of the fact that you are forgetful.. and tt leads to irresponsibility... like he losing his ticket and finding it again..and maybe he lost his wife coz of tt same reason and including the fact he is anti social... and hence this will end up you being an easy target to be fooled...therefore...i felt unwilling (this is not the exact writing)

can right??? is feeling unwilling towards aging.. sensible? i hope so...plzz...i need a1! or a2..

so bio is tmrw.. scared scared...coz jude tan never return me my worksheets! and...im not so confident about it...prepare prepare..prepare!

so well we saw flying duthcman..lol dillon went to approach hima dn he started talking about school and stuff..and he was wearing a beatles shirt..hhah..he also had a daughter..she was fat

exit music (for a flim)

sigh...listening to exit music again...anyway school today was good.. geog was easy..yay alot of my answeres same as benedict..tt means its correct :) well...i dont understand why jdue tan has to ask us to do our bio presentation when he said after common test...and when the ones doing sex in plants were suppose to do..and ugh...damn asshole..we also not ready! plus i actually wrote notes for me to use./..which i dont usually use coz i dont really prepare presentations..its just..spontaneous i guess.. but still i prepared..and plus i havnt mend julian's fucked up slides..coz his really sucsk..too wordy...no pics..he copy and paste..take it to the depth of forever applied with infinity and he will still have no glimpse of whatever he wrote....

so yeah presentationw was good until julian presented..coz his slides were just wordy... so well we got average marks..which sucks..tmrw's lit...its 12 am.now..well in a way i was asking for advice...coz i was asking ms elisa tan who was online...a lit teacher about tips on unssen poetry..it was very helpful..she mainly said..go with your gut and you'll do well..and well don;t go out of point.....and my structure! arghhhh....yeah so tts it..lit..game on! tmrw.. lets do it..but im scared a bit coz ms periasamy said the poem was a bit more complex than those she gave us..im not worried that i will not udnerstand it..im just worruied bout the stupid short useless fucking time of 45 fucking mins..tt fucking little..fuck!

so after school went with abrar dillon and josh..go get fried mars bars at british takeaway..thanks..josh.. and well dillon was damn emo coz abrar was telling dillon that adeline tan is lesbian..sigh.... then abrar kept trying to coax him..jokin joking only..but dillon cant get over it.. and then we went subway bbuy cookie..and thnen we were so depserate josh went into video taping dillon;'s retarded impersonation of shankkar's talking to his gf...and also his daNCE for his handphone sounded lucifer sam...llcakes..and josh was doingan impersonation of rishi..but i coudltn dom mmy part of ashwin coz he was seriously too funny! and we weerre drawing errmm...cough cough...things on the cookie paper....

i will follow you into the dark

i am currently sucking a lollipop and am about to view the geog slides for weathering and erosion and plate tectonics..again..coz i must score for geog tmrw! math was a killer..seriously! well for me..i think im gonna at least just pass..and i wont be diappointed if i fail.. coz i know what is expected..i don't wanna talk about the paper..i just don't

today... did filming for com studs.. and well we did get alot of progress.. covered a;; of our scenes except one..and well i got ideass on how to re edit them...coz i find them kind of akward.. lol today filming started off damn lag..then it was damn funy..especially when we were doing the scene when joavan and nic start bullying me and asking me to do things for them..and then aravin (not in our group) came into the scene and was like talking to us..haha...he ruined the whole footage!
he did tt to us again..by talking so loud..we couldn't hear our dialogue..then there was one part i was trtying a differnt way of filming and i went to sudhirr..and he was like shouting random hokkien words and i said..u do noe mr soo can see this..he's like..soo chee bai! soo chee bai! haha.. funny filming ;)

then...mother tongue...boring...i suck at it already! shit..i deteriorateed coz of the com,prehension..and thanks to tt one question which is 5 marks and another question which is 1 mark..akhi beat me... i got 69.1 he got 79!?!?!?!?!?!? fuck..i got 3rd..tt sucks..shankar got 2ndi think 76...fuck.. 1 more from a2...

then..school ended... went to far east side..had a kfc chat and meal..akhi left early..we left super late..(dillon,josh,jeter) talking about..."judicary".. movies..stuff...dillon's paedophiling..damn i wanna watch clockwork orange.. i need time..i found it on youtube..buit i need time..this week..can't...common test

and then on the mrt..with jeter..met joshua prasad..he is in sji i.. and then he had another friend...lol he had the same mp3 as me.. zen stone plus.... had a nice chat.. well..feel guilty for not studying with tt time...i shd study and am going to study...i am studying...yeah tts the spirit kumarr...

song writing again.. why am i doing this when i have a math exam tmrw! well decided to do it coz dillon was asking me to do..so tried to get myself in the zone.i call it power child.. it's unfinished..so im gonna finish it tmrw..

Black and blind with un earthed summer lines
In turn to burn.. To burn the solemn binds
Leaving traces… to collide
To collide with all I have arrived

Every dawn.. dreams leave unspoken
Into the night.. It’s just a joker..
Unveil unspoken…to lie
To lie with all that was in line

Why won’t you be alive?
You could have been my power child

i will possess your heart - death cab for cutie

im back with my second dream..but dunno why it didnt follo up.. this time it was of climbing a mountain,,its really weird coz this time it wasn't an intricate..or sad drream..its just me managing to climb an ordinary mountain and i could still rmbr how frking cold it was! i could reall feel the cold..maybe its the aircon..lol tts it... and its probably coz my sis is a rock climber and she's damn obssesed with mountains... she's like a frking maniac.. she keeps telling me abou k2.. i regret even telling her about how fold mountains are formed..lol..(in case u're wondering..why im talking about fold mountains despite the fact i suck at geog.. well it's coz of the news..about the k2 incident..so i rmbred how fold mountains were formed..adn stuff..)
Not like there's anything wrong...but its just weird coz she never seemed to me the mountain type.. she told me it takes 65 days to climb k2...tts..INSANE....

so apart from.."siamese dreams" ...i dunno i have a feeling im gonna dream about tmrw's exam...coz it's usually the last thing tt u though of tt stays in ur subconcious mind ...so u'll start dreaming about it...

math..is going ok for me.. im scared of algebraic manipulation...

talking to dillon bout ..affection.. coz ribbon wrote a song..called jewel..but well we know who he wrote it for.. jaded...


im loving my zen stone plus.. but i think there's gonna be problems coz it lags like a dog!

disarm

how i feel? its like how corgan's lyrics flow in disarm... i dunno..i just feel emo to put it in short...but i dunno emo.. is really a shallow definition...exactly what i feel is this.. hatred of jude tan of not sending the slides and answers..still reflecting on what he said..and also the fact that dillon is right about jude tan being kind of smart in saying tt so we'd prove him wrong..but i still think he should have done it in a better way... after all.."a kiler in me is a killer in you.." all he could do is.."send a smile over to you!" it would lighten up my day! and also..moving on to why i feel "disarmed".. i'm restless.. dunno why..coz i studied math..until i got the graphs fully understood except a few misunderstandings regarding drawing the tangent..and fuck i forgot the method to find the gradient for quad graphs without any hassle from using the leachae way from the tangent... and i also feel pisseed about bio... coz now i really dont know if understood whatever we were thought..i almost finished revising the whole subject.. i just revised transport in humans and plants... i more or less got it..and..sigh..i've been having weird thoughts...just weird...!

I'm having nightmares! everytime..like in a period of each..like for 2 days i will have a nightmare on the same thing but its like a frking sequeL! but problem is i kind of forget a bit of it..but all i can rmbr is yesterday's one... it's something like family got rich and all and we went to some bungalow to settle..and omg..its just creepy and weird coz the feeling was so fucking real.. i dunno if im crazY? and like even in the day.. you would feel like someone is there watching u...like more than one...and like u can;t see it..u can hear it and feel it..and best part..u;re locked in tt house forever...the only way u can see it is through a mirror...and omg it just sounds crazy me saying it..but its frking crazy...coz like the house..in my dream is like has a shade of greeen...and like the spirits..are not like those scary looking things..but they are actually real life looking people..and likes it kind of like...how d'arcy and billly look liike in ava adore..i dunno what's in store for me tonight!

1979

i dunno wat's up with arul... he really has some problems... one day he's like, "oh linkin park rocks! haha" and then just tt day when he saw us carrying the set out..he was like.."alamak..u all new music ppl lah...u ggo check out deep purple..smoke on water..wah tt one the bomb!" haha.. he bviously underestimates me...and dillon,josh and hass..coz we listen to chuck berry! WHICH IS 1950!?!?!?! he;s like..who the hell is chuck... and secondly..he first say wah linkin park...then now he sau linkin park only my daughter listen... deep purple! LOL!

so well today my brother gace me my very belated birthday present ..my birthday was 9th may.. it was nice.. an mp3..creative zen .really small enough to look like a lady bug..but it has a built in speaker..2gb...reasonably good earphones..at least there's a screen.. a silicon casing and a clip on..it looks cool.. but it lags a bit...tt sucks..and i dont like thr sorting..but hey.it still owns! my sis was real jealous..and i kind of feel damn bad also...but sigh...nice guys finish last...

Geek U.S.A

im checking out smashing pumpkins stuff AGAIN! i can;t believe i was like only a fan of ava adore last time.. i cant believe how much talent i missed! mellon collie and the infinite sadness,adore,gish,zeitgeist ; these albums are their best for me.. but its so cool how they evolved and seperated..like with d'arcy and james iha... lol james iha really remind me of a cross breed of michael jackson and yoko ono.. and he's really talented.. and d'arcy of course..lol the eyecandy... she's a good bass player also.. but she's like actualyl damn essential to the whole band but...dunno why even without james and d'arcy and only with billy corgan and jimmy chamberlain i still like them... billy corgan is of course like the kurt cobain of the band... and well jimmy just owns...he seriosuly rocks.. i;m like baffled at how he does tt geek u.s.a thing...

so well switch back to reality... i hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate jude tan.... i tot of not saying it but i can;t hide it..he's an idiot...he demoralises people alot.. im telling u..he probably failed literature.. coz he does not know anything about emotional iq... dt day i just came back from helping ms lim run some errands and was having a snack with dillon,josh,josiah and tim da silva just came down... and he was like .."tim u hang out with themm..u're only going to fail.. everyone here;s gonna fail..everyone here... " and like i said.."i just came back from helping ms lim run some errands" and he was like..wtv u say.. u're still gonna fail.. im like ftw!?!?!? fuck you asshole! and he was damn asshole to tim... i dunno if tts a way of moralising somone.. but now i noe,..he hates me.. i hate him.... im never gonna ask him for anything..im gonna prove him wrong for common test..im studyign hard for bio...really really really really really hard! i need to do well !!!!!

and okay next subject... a gay guy is gaying with me on facebook... sigh..some guy called nathan james from singapore...and he is supposingly gay and ihave no offence with gays and then he started gaying me..and i was damn pissed so i just tao him....i tot he was like some guy who just wanted to add me coz like he likes the same music as me or something..i mean i have had ppl who added me coz i have same taste as them....mostly overseas americans..conor edgar..john consentino jr...neil dantas...and some weird guy who deosn speak english and has nothing in common with me..husseying tedibrili..

and auditions for teacher's day performance went unexpected.. we met ruizhi alastair adil and kevin there.. well we did our thing and my sis bf helped me with the set of just a hi hat and snare.. so well we did hey jude..and we didnt do so well coz of bad timing and wish you were here with abrar also screwed up.. then we were like damn pissed with ourselves so we went near the piano coz joshua was like..just try rehearsing by the piano..and i brought my set and all ..we started playing..lol and we got alot of attention and omg we rocked! there were like ppl we dint noe..going.."Remember to let her into your hearT!" and then lum...kevin...adil started coming.. and then the drama teacher came and she was like.."wow that was great!" then i saw alan johnson from downstairs he was at the staff room..he couldnt hear us so i was like waving at him... then he cAme down and we played again..and he was like.."wow that was great... come again on friday and get ur forms.." we were like ftw..tt was so like beatles rooftop concert! lol...at least i came back with compliment of both my drumming and singing..i used brushes so noting to wow about.. but alan johnson said he liked the effect of the way i use the brushes and he also said my voice was good! yay at least nopw i dont feel so insecure... and thanks to hass for singing.. dillon for pianoing.. abrar for guitaring in wish you were here, lum for guitaring in hey jude and joshua for managing so well..

take you to the dark side of the moon...

any colour you like - pink floyd

today was health check..lol we were talking about who would lose thier virginity first lol...first would obviously be daryus! second is the ever so hhorny shawnieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee horny...then nic phAy who could probably strech his balls to max length..then i think was nigga joavan...and then me..then jin yao..then forgot the others..lol..damn weird why suddenly so random..... and lol also realised after talking alot..that my family is one heck of a horny one...lol got 5 kids...me and mys sis only 10 mnths diff! my eldest bo is 25...next sis 23 next bro 20 then me 14 and my sis 13...look at the age diff...and plus my dad after divorcing my mom..got married to a malay girl who is like 19 and he is 50 something! and plus my eldest bro is older than her! lol my step mom is older than my elder bro! wtfff...then he go get one kid there she now about 7 years i think...then now he married to another one in nepal..btu that one already she had daughter..not bad i got global relations...nepal..m'sia..singapore..jew..NAZI!

listening to dazed and confused now..coz that is how i feel...i am so confused in studies...the way i suck at math and maybe even bio is worrying me! lit is fun and i like it...english is normal...tamil is retarded..lol mother tongue class was damn funy today...it's only 9 of us..and like stupid tamil teacher damn pissed coz like 3 quarter the class never do the hw and she was like u noe women...."yelling"...like what i learnt.never argue with a woman.it's a battle in vain! so she was like yeling and lol i really couldn;t control my laughter...shankar kept turning back and chucking to himself.and lol shankkar looks like elmo..so who wouldn't laugh if u see a real elmo laughing at u! and gabriel was being a whinney ass rantling i his high pitch voice...lol...i was laughing like hell and u could tell she was dan pissed with me...but i really dont give a damn and maybe this is just part of growing up..like what JT said...u decide to test the paience of ur teacher...but u noe i tot of not doing my hw again..but she;s a human being so ill TRY my best...

so well..im looking for jack kerouac stuff so if any of u happen to posses a novel of his...pleease pleasse pleassse lend me! desolation angels would be best...

and so now im reading abc murders..really interesting but i can;t really read much now coz of common test coming up...

and now nic told me that cgs ppl are calling me 28 jew...(to talk like the autistic protaganist in curious incident)...i do not really like this as they treat me like i am not there... often people try stressing the unpleasant fact of what you are to simply bother you..that;s what my teachre said...

to tel you the truth talking like the protagonist francis boone helps alot..it helps me analyze myself although i feel retareded and left brained..like mr kooh! he has to try eating the humble pie..

oh yeah and latest news from teacher's day rehearsal...well we tried doing today by the piano just vocals and piano..i did back up and im disappoinyed in myself...wtf...why today my voice cant go higher! ahhh heck...im hoping i dont crack my voicebox before teacher's day.....anyway we trying to get adeline tan to help hass in vocals coz he tends to stress himself too much..he;s good but he tried going where he has never been before.. welllll syafiq was telling me that usually if they ask u to bring ur own set they will provide ride and crash..let's hope so..coz if so i dont need to use brushes...which im not experienced in yet..

JULARIOUS

well..(again?) so alan johnson asked those who were interested in performing for teachers day to meet him at the music room..so dillon and i went..and so the audition is on friday...and we auditioning for hey jude- beatles and wish you were here-pink floyd...but fuck..he said no drums..so i compromised with him that i bring my own snare and hi hat stand...hope he allows tt..he says he'll see how big it is....a gut feeling tell me he aint gonna allow it..but what the fuck is hey jude without the chiming hi hat???? and it rages the emotions in wish you were here..and like i need at least a bass drum for wish you were here..but fuck it...i can make do with snare and hi hat...that shucks... i hope the audition goes well. and well im singing along with hass for wish you were here and hey jude..i do back up...

A fraction of american haikus by Jack kerouac..dunno if i got the words correct was writing them from a video....ill embed it here..




in my medicine cabinet
the winter fly has died of old age

well here i am
2 pm
what day is it?

the tree looks like a dog
barking at heaven

prayer beads on a holy book
my knees are cold

in the morning frost
the cats step slowly