WOW! IT'S 2009! I'm so gay right now! (no pun intended)

as everyone does their affirmations on christams.. i prefer to do them now.. because i believe so much can happen between christmas and new year.. and so much has happened!

so ill being..

-my mom- i love you so much, and i know you wont be able to read this coz u dont even know what a blog means.. but heck.. your the best mom ever! strong and bold i love you and so do your other 4 kids..we had a great 2008; and i know its a year we will never forget.. so much i cant reveal in this blog..

-my elder sis- you're in india right now but here's to a happy 2009.. jsut like there was an awesome 2008 for all of us... may you have a wonderful wedding in 2009, and may you live happily ever after with sara...

-my brothers- as i can say for my eldest bro, can never forget how my opinions towards him have changed so much..i can actually see hwo we have so much in common.. we have some common music tastbuds.. we both love watchmen..we both love awesome movies and we both are afraid of woman.. (yes for those of you who dont know that.. go figure..)
for my other bro.. thanks for all the snoring and kicking.. haah im not kidding, made me have a life full of snippets..and also thanks for being generous and always being the joker in the family..

my youngest sis- the sibling i spend the mosty time with.. ok.. though we have alot of fights.. i blieve you are mature enough to knwo it was all bullshit..and it was just bonding.. i no you're taller than me and stuff.. but ( i dont hate you for that; thanks more making me more memorable and unique then) i think we have shared alot in the past month...

FRIENDS!

dillon and josh- thanks guys..for making my life one to laugh about when i grow older.. thank you so much.. josh; for your kind and unhesitant genoristy and wit..
dillon;for all that music we shared..for all that cough*cough* sharing we had about cough*cough* women.. and basically ive shared my whole life with you and josh.. like my alternative bros.. hahaha

the class of 210!-every single one of you made it memorbale for me this 2008...that whole wonderful birthday gift totally made me feel nostalgic about what happened to me when my frens did somethign similar in 06 (yes peeps havnt forgotten that!)

keenan-making it a very korean year for me ! veli good ah! veli meili ah! go away! was what i can sum up about you.. thanks for the best physical comedy ive ever eseen !next year you going on youtube!

jack!-of course man! i think i loved to come trng alot too coz i could share some music conversation with uoi and stuff.. haha thanks man! for letting us crash in your house haha.. no just kidding.. i think we had a real fun friendship and thanks for everything!

Reuben!-thanks for making it a retarded 2008! haha..no kidding.. seiously..thanks for everything.. the motley crue concert..the friendship..getting owned in lan..xD..

Ruth- damn.. too abd i got to know you too late! but you've been a great friend.. thanks buddy.. for joing our band.. and finally after a year..we have a singer..

here's to a wonderful 2009 guys! let jesus,allah,guru nanak,all the hindu gods there are,buddha and all the other gods and idols of ours.. lead us to a wonderful new year and bless us with all that is to come!

The World will Look Up And Shout "SAVE US" And I'll Whisper "no"


its christmas today.. and well i dont celebreate it but i do have to say.. christmas is enjoyable.. used to go visiting to my aun't relative place.. but i think this year plans are diff... at least for christmas we got a new TV.. DVD player.. and best of all my family.. but nevertheless.. not the same without my sis..

but heck.. im trying my best to be an optimist for next year.. believe it or not. deeep inside me im one heck of a pessimist. I feel like the scroog of christmas.. i guess its coz of past experiences..

e.g: everytime i jam at penin; i anticipate that my other bandmates would arrive earlier than me.. but they always arrive like half an hour later..

e.g:everytime i look forward to getting an A1.. i get a b4..

so well.. this jsut stimulates how u act towards future situations. All i can think for now.. is what im gonna do next year. Just finished common wealth essay.. quite crap... under limit with only 1150 words.. when i need 1200..

tomorrow's the last rush to get school stuff done.. meaning all my shoes and stationary.. i cant believed i finished watchmen before to kill a mocking bird tough..finished midsummer.. read some nazi history
tts about it..

watchmen trailers.. dohnt ask.. songs for the trailers are mainly smashing pumpkins-end is the beginning is the end and muse-take a bow

I am ozymandias; king of kings.look upon my works;ye mighty and despair!

things are pretty bad so far. my handphone sudenly blanked out..(yes the one andrew sold to me..) secondly, mr bro wanted to borrow my mp3 (yes the cute mini creative zen tt had speaker on it too! i mean.. so small yet so functionable..) im sick.. terribly.. had some sort of infection ting again .. like u occasionally cough out blood.. now its better but its just a lot of snezzing and breathing problem now.. apart from teh fact that my mom grounded me until school started.. now i have to get better befoer 8i can go trng.. sigh.. i just hope today wasn't the saints match... i hope its after christmas.. well its christmas eve.. my dad's birthday.. i dont care and im not gonna wish him.. but he's probably gonna wine about it later on the phone or on chat.. :(

At least the past 3 days weren't tt bad.. thanks to joshua i had a good read to keep me company for these solitary days with just me and me younger sis (we dont have much in common so nothing much..plus.. im stuck at this level of manhunt 2 where it required free aiming to shoot the speaker.. and i cant free aim on playstations too slow..episode 11:origins.. yes still got until episode 16 and an alternative ending..) and mooreover.. my elder sis.. left to india for a holiday kind of thing to meet her fiance there.. so its been lonely.. and also very quiet in the household.. not this quite before.. like a jail cell..really wanna get out of this coop and go playing left 4 dead somewhere with the gang..

still under muidway crisis on my commonwealth essay.. its disastrous.. honestly.. the titles are vague.. too vague for me to be sensitive enough to dig deep and uncover a treasure chest and get a B grade even! and the math hw.. don dare touch it.. the mother tongue hw.. oh gosh i dun even noe what it is!!!

anyway the good read i mentioned earlier is none other than the best graphic novel ever: Watchmen!

its really good.. has nice symbolss and motif.. like tt nostalgia pefume by veidt.. and the freaking cool smiley face.. my favourite character byfar has to be ozymandias! who on earth would have thought that killing a million people would eventually help stop the upcoming third world war? there u go i told u the wonderful ending of a very good comic..

the movie's coming out in march 2009..directed by zack snyder who directed 300... the thing is i heard he changed the endnig...
something about the fact there wont be the alien ozy teleported to new york.. but instead will be some thing about ozy framing dr manhattan for the good of mankind and doc manhattan realises its for the good of mankind...

the killing of the comedian..doctor manhattan;accused of giving cancer to the people he slept with or was close to..;the "apparent" murder attempt of ozymandias... (adrian veidt) leading roasrchach to thingk there's a masked killer conspiracy and he later getting framed.. and the romance of silk spectre and doc manhattan later shifting to silk spectre and daniel dreigberg (nite owl II) just awesome..

i dunno why but i think this year is probably a year of acceptance for me..

the hols are ending.. at least i can accept that..

i am bloody short and quite fat.. at least i can accept that and live life contunously..

but there's still something i can't accept right now!

my mom keeps saying i should cut m,y hair coz i look shaggy and ugly.. but i think i look better now than after i cut my hair.. coz first opg all.. i am not tall.. second of all.. im not big sized.. so if i cut my hair.. i look smaller.. and thirdly.. my head isnt big.. its freasking small..and fourthly.. im indian.. and im damn dark..so i lok freaking retyarded.. why does my mother not under stand this?

i dunno whether i think its alright coz of the people i hang around with.. or somethiong? or just that my mother lives 1980.. ?

and another thing that i cant come to acceptance.. is that the fact im growing up....

im short..hence i dont have self confidence. and tharts the part where.. i want to get a job this holidays but i dont have the guts to even ask my mom. coz she'll probably talk through her motuh and not her head.... what she sees and not what she knows.. the physical maturity and not the mental sensitvity..

and also the post confrontation.. when i start to get quite pissed.. and like just zone out.. and then she'll say something that.. at this age.. everything seems right to you and everythign else is wrong.. buit problem is i dont get it? so if everything that is right to me.. is wrong.. that what the fuck am i suppose to think? the opposite of what im thinking? seems mudane enough.. so i shan't delve deeper due to my lack of sensitivity.. what do u expect me to write? some thing like; oh i want to study.. so i do the opposite.. ..i've gone past that phase..

but another problem is i tend to ramble about my life.. and now i realised all that rambling is the tip of the iceberg.. tha fact im from a single mother family.. my dad;s a jerk.. has 2 other wives.. has a ntoher kid.. and the fact i know how its like to lose all your riches.. at the age of 5.. and the time i spent with my dad at this very house while my other siblings were in hotel california* at my grandmom's place (it means hell)

and the fact i though those years of staying alone at the age of 5.. waiting for my dad to come home.. with my sis.. (10 motnhs younger)..and that day never came.. those times when at the age of 5.. i wake up and i dont see my dad next to me.. nowhere in the house.. till he comes back at 2.. we still awake.. crying from 9-2.. and then our dad.. starts swearing.. and throwing things here and there...talking about death.. and we there.. watching that shit.. oblivious to what to respond with.. we though that was considered "holiday"

BUt it fucking turned out that was allegedly kidnap.. nom joke.. my mom just told us yesterday.. that was fuckingh kidnap.. an attempt for my dad to get money to go clubbing.. at least now i know the truth.. at least i've come to acceptance my dad is a dick..

and when someone next to me talks about how he's rich and stuff.. and sometimes.. even makes fun of my status.. tghat im a poor dog.. with nothing to lvie up to..and maybe i dont have future.. im dumb.. im shit.. well look at yourself man.. at least i havew come to acceptance that i used to be rich and am a poor ass beggar now.. from the age of 5.. everyone has their bad time. at least now i know mine's gone.. and at least now i know you dont need money to have talent..

some "rock sell outs" advertistments..

the reason why i say "rock sell outs" and not rock sell outs.. is coz they aren't..to me.. like wtf? just coz they make a commercial about em for a company coz they stopped making recprd..doesnt make em sell outs.. i mean.. its also for us to enjoy..it's bloody funny ..hahaha

OZZY SAMSUNG COMMERCIAL


ALICE COOPER MARIOTT COMMERCIAL



ALICE COOPER STAPLES COMMERCIAL (SCHOOL"S OUT FOR SUMMER)

RESERVOIR DOGS
im so bored.. so ill do maybe one movie review.. on the movie i think i loved the most this year.. ut thing is.. it wasn't released this year..it was released years ago.... reservoir dogs..yes.. fuckign awesome movie! my favourite character has to be mr orange.. how he stealthily fits in with the rest of the guys but backstab them at the end.. it was just epic! how he was lying on one side.. almost dead.. and mr blonde was about to kill that cop after chopping hsi ear off.. and then..bang bang.. blonde dies.. freaking awesome! quentin tarantino m,akes it look like he has been directing movies all his life.. but it was just his first movie..it had everything.. it had the slight edge of comedy.. the climax was there alright! not to mention the action.. and of course the after feeling you get after watching the movie.. the nature of reality.. how crude it is.. how it tastes like shit not wine.. that cutting off of the ear.. was one example.. how tarantino makes it look so real.. that that is what they do.. and also the ending.. was for u to decide.. did all of em die? yes.. except mr pink.. but who knows.. mr pink was only shown running off with the brifcase.. and at the end.. black scrrenn.. but police cars.. no shots were fired..

quite long never post.. xOOO

so ill post about the day before yesterday.. (friday) had training..so we gave our barkerites forms.. and stuff.. and satrted warm up.. "10" laps.. i think my fitness is slightly improving off pitch. BUt problem now is my speeed.. on pitch. And i dont think ill do well for the incoming beep test.. i always suck at that. It's just that i suck at pacing.

so after warm up, we did nunis warm up..on the ball.. very weird huuman slalom.. where we dribble around the peeople infron of you until u reach a part where no one's infront of you...as we move around the 25. then we played possesion...my hockey has improved a bit..in terms of confidence and reliability..but i yet to improve on the strengths of my pushes.. mine are fucking slow.. hit and stuf..are not an issue of arm power..unless you want u fucking solid hit..coz its all in how you swing and where you hit the ball.. my tackling is daMN lousy now.. sigh..better improve.. then atfer that we played some passing drills.. with one guy in the center.. and after that we played match...like i think 10 of us against like 17 or something sec1s and also some sec 2s and 3s...but dunno why darrel was therer and i was with the 10.. darrel is a damn good defender..best among the sec 2 defenders...

the match..although we scored like 8 or 7 goals.. we played ddamn badly at thed back..we let it one stupid goal at the start which is suppose was due to complacency.. but our attacking was alright excepty for the times we recover from defence or counter.. but gareth and winston are seriously damn good at the flanks.. like you can really rely on them to bring the ball to the d..i played center forward czo abrar was not there.. but i think sam should have been center and i go to center half.. coz sam is damn attcking minded.. im not.. so i think next year we should have good attacking.. coz winston can really whack and cross ... and gareth's hits are damn good. and abrar's deflections are like almost 100 percent... but tt mneans coleman got alot of competition.. alot...!!!! but i think if coleman work on the crozssing he sure can.. coz he can dribble.. i scoerd 2 goals.. out of the 4 probably chances.. haqqim was right wing and daryl was left wing.. haqqqiim did well..scoring 3 or 4 goals.. and i noe sam scored one really nice goal.. like it was he winston and garetjh i think..they played a triangle.. and scored..


after training.. keenan was as usual irritating aarul..lol.. he was like suck cock..suck cock..suck cock.. and he even said oen time.. mr arul fucker ah..until her asked him down 20.hahaha.. then after that jack,keenan and i went to joshua house.. his house is damn ownage..!!! his ps3 got soul calibur metal gear thingy.. and he bought cod 5 and fall out later on.. i just realissed i suck at cod 5 on ps3..coz im frking unfamiliar with the controls..but soul calibur 4 was fun.. lol i keep owning with raphael later on..after i stopped using voldo.. but apprentice is damn fast.. but i still love those old school peeps..

then joshua's friend ryan came along.. and keenan was entrtainning us wiith his swearing in korean accent..haha..

oh and when we went to clementi coz josh wanted to buy some games.. some malay woman was damn bitchy.. jack and i were at the bust stop.. but josh andkeenan were at seven eleven and wen they came out they left the dorr to close and it accidentally slamemd her finger and she was like FUCK YOU! and she had a kid right next to her.. and then she asked them to come here../ and then she even asked for money to go poly clinic coz its damn painful.. i mean what the hell??? are u soem earl married woman with non job.. trying to getsome money for her kid.. but do iti like this?? sigh..

so we went back and we left at around 6..

song of the day yes i am not gay (in the happy context)

yes i am so bored..im doing this... i got nothing else better to do.. so

yes song of the day.. that has been ringing in my head all this while..

Untitled by smashing pumpkins..

pretty weird title right.. but its the last song they ever did together before the breakup...and then reunited in 2007 only jimmy chamberlin and corgan for zeitgeist (spirit of the age in german i think)

recorded in 2001

UNTITLED-SMASHING PUMPKINS (i believe its one of their best songs..and i think its in their compilation rotten apples)

update

just watched the next episode of grey's anatomy (i think it's a repeat..lol.. i just got addicted.. ) so that seth green charcter i was taLkinh about.. (the one with the fucked up artery).. actually survived.. buit then the chic doctor steralized the bleeding.. it was frking sick.. and so a series of mishaps..and then (i swear it was freaking sad..) i think i almost cried... the seth green guy eventually died.. but it was damn sad.. coz befoer he died he was liek teeling her. that he was forgetting about his ex and thinking about her./.and then she started laughing and then that was it..

and the guy with the nazi thingy.. survived but it was damnn funny coz after the op.. his swastika was disgifured.. like only an S could be seen.. haha laugherd my ass off.. so he was like asking the other guy if she did it on purpose (the doctor was black)

and also.. my mom's going china in 2 weeks time.. (SWEET!!! that probably means she doesnt need to comb my hair now and then..) not sure how long she'll be there..

but boy.. the last time she went overseas was in 2001.. she went sri lanka. and we had some weird times at home.. just me and my 4 siblings..

but now that everyone's grown up a bit.. it's kind of different.. like my eldest bro aint gonna be in coz he is in his own place.. my other bro is working and so is my other sis.. and my younger sis and i are the onyl studying chaps.. my younger sis is transferring to damai sec.. after a series of shit holes she had in her previous sec school... well let's hope 09 becomes a better year.. long pants.. (i need long legs.. please growwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

some quiz..damn bored so might as well do this..

1.the person who tagged/passed you are
ahmad

2.your relationship with him
friend

3.your 5 impressions over him
erm...fun to hang around,practical,retarded (lol)

4.most memorable thing he has done to you
hmm.. no idea.. err..maybe not so memorable.. (always does it) whack me in the head while im writing something..

5.if either one of em' become your lover, you will
kill myself?im not gay

6.if either one of em become your lover, they'd have to improve on
changing sex.. (still wont help.. dont go transverstites.. pre op or post op)

7.if he become your enemy you will..
can't really imagine? maybe just dao lah../ become your enemy what to do?

8.if either one of em becomes your enemy, the reason will be?
i dunno....

9.the most desired thing you want to do for them?
whack him back hahaha! next year 324.. my chance..

10.overall impression of him
good friend

11.how do you think people around you wikll think about you?
maybe im cocky? retarded? a bad tongue?

12.you characters you love about yourself are..
not narcissistic to the point of taking any notice of those..its for others to say and for me to accept

13.the characters you hate about yourself are..

is being short a character? i mean mentally and physically..

14.the most ideal person you want to be..
why does this seem like that scence from american psycho 2? no im not a textbook sociopath.. but err.. lemme think... i'd wanna be Seth Macfarlane creator of family guy..can make myself laugh all day and make all the fam guy epsiodes i want..

15.for people who care and like you,say something to them
are u black?

16.pass this quiz to 10 people (not in order..must have blog right?)
1.jeter
2.alexis
3.winston
4.bryan lum
5.nevin
6.kevin martens
7.ahmad
8.coleman
9.shivraj? (dunno anyone else who has a blog..)
10.myself....

17.who is number 6 having a relationship with
lol.. some girl called star..haha

18.is number 9 male or female?
male

19.if number 7 and 10 are otgether.. will it be a good thing?

ermm.. hell no.. im not gay neither is he.. YET

20.what is number 2 studying about?
double science double humanities..

21.what kind of band does number 8 like?

good old soft bands.. eagles,beatles,paul mccartney,bob dylan and his fair share of country music (eagles is country too..xD)

22.does number 1 have any siblings..
nope i dont tink so..

23.will you woo number 3..
not gay..

24.how about number 7..
not gay

25.is number 4 single?
yah as far as i know

26.what is the surname of number 5..
tan i think

27.whats number 10's hobby?

listening to good old music,drumming

28.does number 5 and 9 get along well?
think so

29.where is numbr 2 studying at?
sji

30.talk something casually about number 1
outgoing person...

31.where does number 9 live at..

no frking idea

32.what colour does number 4 like..

no idea..

33.number 5 and 1 best friends?
they dont know each other

34.nuumber 1 got any pets..
nope (dunno)

35.is number 7 the sexiest person in the world..?

that is one heck of a stupid question.. who do you thinkn we passing these quizzes to? celebrities? and plus im not gay to think of that enough.. so NO..

36.what is number 6 doing now?

do you expect me to be number 6 to know?