btw.. sorry the title was death is a bitch.. haha really cool episode. and i also watched 15 minutes of shame.. how meg feels her family is so embarrassing. (includes peter in a clam suit and ending up on his flipside (totally naked).. )brian: i didn't know peter's penis was like that.

and like their life becomes kind of like the MTV show , "the osbournes"... and they kick meg out of the show coz she's the least popular charct in the show and replace her with some hot sexy bitch.. and she's like.. hello chris. chris: u know my name? fake meg: of course i do..im ur sister.

but the best has to be when (in death is a bitch) stewie sucks up to death by massaging him and all.. and lois is like... do mind him please.. and death is like.. oh i dont mind at all. he kind of reminds me of how i was when i was younger.. hmm.. tough i hope his teenage life doesnt end up like mine. death is shown having sex with a girl in a car and all u see is the car moving and some orgasms.. and death is like oh yeagh.. oh yeah.. and the girls orgasms stop.. and the car shaking stop.. and he's like.. oh! NOT AGAIN!??? now im gonna be a virgin forever.. or am I? and the car starts shaking again.. haha.. that made my day.

and so.. my sis is the .... yeah maybe not so true. but true for now. my younger one of course. 13 years of age.. and no sense of mental maturity (to be specific.. sensuality and grace)

this is how our arguement went..

narration: brother ( me ) starts using the unsused com which is on her account. with her msn on...

sis: oi! why u using my account? cannot use urs is it?

brother: why u got something to hide? im only gonna use for a while.. checking my facebook

sis: (snatches the mouse away) i don't care.. i know u gonna download some stuff and my account only gonna be filled up..

brother: why would i do that? even if i do.. im only gonna polish ur immature playlist.. but why would i? i can still save it my account? why so scared?

sis: no.. when my frens start talking about something on my msn..then ull act like u're me and tell them hi you're an assshole.. screw off.. and stuff like tt.. right?

brother: are u sure u want me not to say that? or ur afraid ur frens say something obscure and i see it?

sis: whatever...

brother: even if i wanted to do that.. i would have other better ways.. but why would i? i have a life

sis: (says to herself like some screwed up mofo) no life assholes..

brother: riiiight.... there's a laptop ther.e. why not use that?

sis: (lingers to the laptop ) no life assholes....


that's an example of desperation for losing ur name.. yeap.

didn't post yesterday, coz was damn tired after training. finally a training where i at least put 50 percent of effort in. and btw, can u actually see the "fed with a silverpoon" post and the "..." post.. coz i can't see it sometimes. and even in the new hockey blog i just created yesterday the recent post i can't view. Either, my computer timed out or blogger is under construction.



anyway link.. http://www.sjihockey1994.blogspot.com/

and familyguynow.com is kind of pissing me off!!! the links keep taking super long to load and end up saying.. oops page not found or video cant be found. and im waiting for the lastest episode to air and maybe view it from sidereel. catch "road to germany" if u havnt. good episode..but for season 7.. i dream of jesus was the best!

"just after i raised the river messiah i went to play call of duty 4 with my 12 disciples"

haha.. classic slapstick..xD

my favourite character still has to be stewie!

and so.. back to reality.. training was fun, especially the lan after that.. wwe played for like 3 hours and my last hour derek,josiah.eugene,aaron and all cAme.. but wtheck.. they were playing dota.. so i just played unreal tournament... was new to the game but fun and veruy fast paced.. with some help from josh. and also cod 4 was ownage fun as usual. tough i sucked on wet works map and ambush.. i still love backlot the most. my best map.. using pwnage mp5 with silencer and just when i had the perk to leave grenade if i die,they all wanted to play dota.. saaaadddd.. i suck at close range assault. coz i suck at aiming

and also i suck at knifing.. i get too nervous lol.. and keenan keep last stand shit.. i keep thinking he died and then he kills me in last stand..

so after tt..had a dillema.. to take bus 14, or train..so evantually took train altough i wanted to take 14 coz walk lesser.. but coz samuel wanted go home earlier and i didnt wanna go home alone.. so went with darrel, josh, samuel,coleman. lol.. i talking to them in the train so much until i missed my stop...and ended up in tanah merah.

today.. we jammed. Me, hass,Dillon and Abrar. I met abrar first at penin..and dilon said he'll take 1.5 hours to come..coz he was stuck in ICA with 171 ppl in front of him..haha, so yah.. tried to kill time at some coffee shop and talking about some hockey stuff and i didnt noe that this year sec 3s were considered the worst batch in academics. Apparently they even said it in the thanksgiving prayer.

then hass came at about 5.. so we booked jade's for an hour.. and jammin was quite unprogressive coz dillon had the leftey. so he came after half an hour. adn we extended another hour. didnt play tt much. coz hass didnt learn cherub rock, black dog and give it away lyrics. so all we did was really bitsy.. but more systematic and progressive than other sessions. by far....

btw. and finally i can wtach a family guy episode! season 2.. death meets peter.

can't wait for tmrw's training. i guess im just gonna concentrate more on gaining my fitness back and improving my sprinting. im really going to take this B div season very seriously. and more like i'm going to take everything i do seriously.
and im really starting to think about how..i;ve come to acceptance to many things.. for example...


u noe how the "cliched" singaporean parents are. "oh john. u got straight As? wow. u deserve an x box for what u have done!"



just like how i hated those kind of parents.. i can't believe i have come to acceptance with it. i have no idea why i have to be so..petty in my impressions of those kind of parents. coz now, my mom said i can get what i want..so long as its within the 200 dollar mark. and that's something i need and appreciate. coz she owes me alot and definately not for this year.. coz this year i did shit.



but i hate to use the term ,"she owes me".. after all ..she has been the one who stood behind me all this while.. and the results were what i owe her.. wow im starting to become those typical singapore kids; all fed with silver spoons... thank god for the economic crisis.. we need to learn how to live man.. all living so lavishly..spending here..and there.



it seems like ..the older u get, the more u spend. so damn true.. and its not coz of "responsibilities".. it's coz of what seems to be .. "the need to impress others".. it is important to impress others but.. wow as the years go by, the more things we have to impress others.. the more we impress others the more money we lose..



i still rmbr in primary school, how i hated those kids who had fancy hair.. thought it was a way of "expressing their need of attention"... i mean if ur hair looked normal no one woul;d have cared if it was ugly.. so why make it the center of attraction? ur only asking for trouble..

and speaking of trouble.. i've not been getting into the kind of soup i used to get into in primary school.. get scolded for the most stupidest of reasons.. "oh u didnt bring ur english textbook, NOW FACE THE WALL"... now its more like.. "u came late for training, ok do 9 laps"-arul

oh yes..and speaking of "punishment" (if u know what i mean).. any opinions on whom u'd rather do? Angelina jolie or Rachel BIlson.. its hard to pick coz both of em are of diff ... "groups".. one's a hot sultry milf who has the best lips in the world.. while the other is a small little cutie. yeah the hardest of all... would u like ur lady hot or pretty? with or without milk?

anyway.. why singapore no metalfest? i noe maybe coz of market. but imagine if like.. motorhead,judas priest,testament,iron maiden and maybe err..anthrax or.. just the big four. tt'll definately cost like err? 300 ro 400? haha.. they probably never will come to singapore.. no market at all.. wow posting this shit at 06 52..gtg in 8 mins for trng.

where on earth do u guys find such good blog skins? majority of what i find in blogskins.com are either too feminine, emo or just too colourful or, in some cases..they don't work for my layout. it just screws everything up.

so wira told me that my blog is too chunky and the font too small. so now im gonna try not making it chunky. and also.. for the font size i cant really change it..coz if i hcnage the size to 2.. its big but all the letter cram up..

so it's either i find another blog skin, or i just stick with this sucky font. and also, i think i should be more opiniated.. like what wira said, opiniated blogs are much more interesting.. but its not only coz i wanna have an interesting blog..but i wanna grow up.

im still this scrawny ass, and so at least i should be matured in the mind, right?

so from now on, im gonna be more opiniated..not like i've never tried, but i'm gonna try harder
and no.. i'm not trying to be someone else... im just trying to grow up.

so hang on.. now got happy hour on channel 5

so i was reading winston's blog after quite a long time..and what grabbed my attention the most was definitley his post about his detestment for his father..and as i looked at his reasons..i kind of think thAT teenagers these days are getting a bit too narrow minded..coz they probably dunno how other people's fathers are.. like look at mine. I bet if winston had my father as his dad..he'll die. But i feel for winston coz..i really feel compared to mothers and fathers, fathers are the worst.

ill give examples to how my dad is, from what i learnt from the past 2 days not like what other dads are like..

my dad has had 3 wives.. and probably has another one in bangalore, india right now.. first was my mom, then a malaysian one, then a nepalese one..and i wont be surprised he has one in india right now.. coz he likes having sex and he already has err.. (calculating all of his wives) 7 kids..from diff countries

he is also quite a control freak. apparently, he spies on us using his 8 stupid.good for nothing evil sisters in singapore... and he even called my eldest bro saying he knows what he has been doing and even talked about some of his "dirt".. and my bro said he lost all the respect he ever had for him.. and he says stuff like.. oh..im dying.and none of u send me any cash or anythingand none of u ever come to see me.. but strangely..that coughing voice that he uses in the beginning starts to die out towards the end. not a very good actor dad.. not even worth a nominee

i have so many things to say about him..but i dont want my blog to appear as an "emo" blog ..full of sadness, insults and hate. and that's an oath i wanna keep. coz a cyber blog..is only limited to saying some things and not everything

and also..i fell proud of myself for being able to appreciate mr jude tan for all he has done..after a very simple letter from him i received today. he said that if i have any problems making the payment for the psl camp thingy. i should not fear asking him. it totally changed my mind of how i tot he was a "demoralising, no life asshole". and i actually feel good to have dedicated a performance to him on teachers' day coz he is actually a very nice person. like severus snape..or doctor cox from scrubs.. haha he who risks what other people think of him to help others.. what a nice guy.

so second, third and fourth leg of visiting..all done. went to my fourth uncle's place..but as per planned, my bro was suppose to pick us up in his noisy subaru..but instead..he was stuck in SLE with my eldest bro after picking him up from jurong..so then took a cab to my uncle's place,, (we;ve never been there for a year). so we talked here adn there and then we moved to my grandmom's place..where all of us were there except for my "nazi looking" uncle..dunno where he went. then my bros met us there and lastly went to my sis bf;s place..where he wasnt there coz he was in India doing some mountain climbing.. so had some fun with his 2 year old nephew.. wow just realised i kind of like entertaining babies..but they can be quite a pain sometimes.. but all in all very interesting age.. (age of innoncence.. dumb=happy)
and his father was showing us some card tricks.. the usual pro stuff.. like he shuffle shuffle get all 4 as in one stack.and got one damn complicated one..really impressive. Then like i think 4 of em were drunk.. lol.. deepavali (festival of alcohol?)

so..the ensued shopping started again yesterday. Was quite amazed when i got a phone call while i was sleeping..was some unknown number..my eldest bro, who lives on his own in jurong (25 years of age).asked me to open the gate. i was wtf?why he come all of a sudden..so then he said he was gonna bring us shopping in either vivo or orchard..coz he has a friend who works in vivo tangs and we can get 20 percent discount..but who wants to buy from tangs? still too ex.. and he has a PSP in his hand..i was like wtf??? since when he thought of buying games? he said he had 2.. and he could give us one.. wow..it seemed he changed alot since the last time we saw him..(huge huge huge difference)

so then..we ate at NYDC..still has good food.. so we didnt eat alot..like 3 of us,sharing a tears in heaven spaghetti,dynamite pizza and chicken in a blanket.and then i had like this drink called milk choco elephancinno..tasted like milo..dunno why so ex.. so then,we started to shop at HMV at the heeren coz my bro wanted to get some dvd coz he had a hdtv tele and he had no DVDs and only VCDS..so i cant rmbr what he bought but i think he bought one al pacino film.. but i noe he bought 2.. wow..but i really wish i could watch stanley kubrick's space odyssey (if tts how u spell it which im sure isn't) and they even featured goodfellas as HMV christmas. so then..we saw a corner where they sold quite cool printed tees.. and there were like mothership,appetite for destruction,ac/dc and stuff like dt.but i had em already..so i went for this pretty cool one with the joker's smile in the middle.. i dont plan to wear it out anywhere..but i think maybe wear it with tt sweater i got from far east yesterday at some Z shop..i cant believe its size L..i mean wth? im so small and L fits me??? but i like the colour coz its simple and dark...and quite a good price about 30 bucks.. so my shopping ended there..coz i think i shopped quit enough for the festive season.but my sis went shopping for a full set..earrring,shorts,a tube dress (she wears a sweater) and some other stuff.my bro wanted to get me some hand accessories but to me..at this age a bit poserish..

oh and my bro also went to get needle for piercing tongue..lol i thought it was for him.which i wont be that surprised at..coz he is pretty much the ougoing,daring kind of person. and he got like a silver stud for it..but i think its for his friend dave, the guy who works at tangs. so then we went to wisma, cottonon shop to get my bro some shirts..i told him about topmand we found the topman at wisma ,just as joavan said..closed down.. so he got pretty much 2 shirts tt look like topman shirts for 30 bucks...:) about the same price in topman..

then we went home from somerset..and reached home exactly at 6pm.. so then, formally dressed, we were picked up by our other bro..who rented a pretty cool car..it had like a speedometer..3 meters. and th exhaust was illegal..but since he rented it it was alright coz he could just blame it on the guy he rented it from..for a family car it made a fucking shit load of noise..everyone was popping their heads out to check out the car..

so then we went to my mom's fren's house..and it seemed my brothers and sister (my 2 elder bros and my elder sis) used to live there before..every week and it looked alot different but still had its tinge of warmth and comfort in it.. i ate quite alot..like turkey,chicekn,mutton..oh and the best..i finished a whole box of ferrero rocher..by myself..haha..i was deprived of that for a whole 6 months.. so then my eldest bro decided to do some alcohol..and he took some green coloured drink and he just downed it without thinking of anything.. and i asked him..aren't u scared u get too high and blabber out something u shouldn;t ? and his answer was .."happens alot..most of the time i blabber out the truth..and the truth ain't very pretty" so then my uncle charles who is like an "alcohol expert" told my bro..that the drink was 75 percent alcohol and quite famous in france and then he said..and part 2.. some people go insane after taking it.. haha..of course he was just pulling his leg but my bros reaction was damn funny.. so yea..we had a really good time.. and then went home while my bro went back to his house in juron.. and now second leg of visiting about to start.. going to my uncle's house with everyone except my elder sis who's in her bf;s house.. and without my mom who's doing some work...

so...since everyone has their resolutions and targets for next year here's mine...

i am going to take next year as a refinement of what happened this year.. im gonna be a good josephinan..who does all the CIP and stuff..and hopefully i don't end up as class com..(depends on who's the teacher..i think if i 323 its surjeet kaur.and i dont mind at all then)

- do better in math and science (my worst subjects)
-get 70 percent average for every term (at least mid year and fye)
-start practicing for o levels
-make it into the team for b div season (crossing fingers)
-LLTC
-no slacking at all

yeap tts it..tough shit..but i can do it

storm large from rock star supernova



im sure some of u watched rock start supernova..and tough lukas rossi won.. i think storm deserved to win. But hey, she'sbetter off without em'.... she's hot plus she can sing!!! what else do u need??

cut my hair..(i dunno why my mom so adamant about it? it's the fucking holidays)

anybody heard of the band cheap trick? if you're into bands like maybe smashing pumpkins (siamese dream period) or punk stuff like the clash or the ramones..cheap trick might justb be your thing. But honestly, i don't like most of their songs..alot of em' are very lovey dovey like errr... white lion??hate tt shit..but i like this song especially..and i think most cheap trick fans love this song the most...

Cheap Trick-Surrender,1978



so anyway..if you didn't know and you're a GNR fan..chinese democracy is coming out. Songs have been leaked and in my opinion, it's not the guns n roses it used to be :(..it's too buckethead driven and i can't stand axl's voice with buckethead..i mean i respect bckethead and all but..they don't fucking click!!!! slash,duff,adler/sorum,izzy they were like peanut butter and jelly!!!! now its just peanut butter with snail meat... buckethead no feel..slash got soul..tts why his name is saul hudson. and black ice came out!!! black ice is ac/dc 's new albumn btw..their video for the single, rock and roll train has already been released..check it out. It's just as good as it always was but they still aren't thinking out of the box...

now, back to reality... so i dunno why im already starting my visiting tmrw. But its to one of my mom's old friend's place and the last time they saw me was when i was 3..and i can't really recall how they look like. so il be going shopping again for clothes.. (i lack formal wear in my wardrobe)

and i just realised that me fighting with my younger sister isn't as bad as how she fights with my elder brother (2o years of age)..gosh they fight exactly like how my 4th uncle and his wife fight.. and the age gap is like what?? seven?

so now tt the first week of holidays are about to pass..im still wondering.should i start mugging a bit..like revise my sec 2 stuff? i just revised chem..but i yet to start on math..so well, i'm going to do just waht i did when i was an enthu 12 year old waiting to be a sec 1... study study study... and i have a rough grasp of midsummer..damn..but what if i dont get full lit? ahh heck.. just see how it goes

so yesterday, after hockey slept for a while..then at about 10pm went to my granmom's house for my granddad's funeral anniversary.. he died like 10 years before i was born and i have no idea what kind of person he was. And tough it may seem absurd, my mom was talking to her bro on the phone and they were saying things like..eh don't sabo me if i come late or ill sabo u next time..and like who wants to go for the prayers? just ponteng ah! haha..and i tot my parents weren't acting like kids..

so we slipped into the cab and the anxiety of what seemed like "the anticipation of the wake" would definitley be overwhelming or just ordinary. yet again..i've never seen all my reatives toghether for like a year and especially my 5th uncle. My 3rd and 5th uncle were considered "mommy's boys" they have reached the age of 30 and they still live and suck my grandmom's blood..the idleness seems to portray no sort of enterprise in them..coz they just dont have the "idea" or rather, the "initiative". so there he was..my 5th uncle..from a balding yet long haired big guy to a bald fair looking indian who kind of made me think he was a nazi. And that was my first impression..and first impressions count. and i wasn't trying to be rude by asking my mom there itself why he shaved..as for my 3rd uncle..he looked the same sloth to me.. Always being the laziest among all..and the most nonsense talking bastard anyone could ever put up with..if you ever get a choice between getting stuck in an island with quagmire or my uncle...just choose quagmire..trust me!!! and as for my 2 little cousins.. (they are like 6 and 7 years of age) they were as usual kiddish and the light among the group..makeing us laugh at their utter sillyness.. but oh my god..my second cousin is really quite an attention seeker...if he doesnt get what he wants he easily put up a tantrum and runs away from the living room..and the more we don't notice him the louder he cries..haha..what an "innocent' fellow..as for my other cousin..being more mature of age she was quiet and knew when to do what... and my aunt who was from acjc and teached at st gabs and now in MDIS was telling me that i should take full lit coz it's much much much more enjoable..like even if i dont enjoy it you can make urself enjoy it..and u cant make urself enjoy hist or geog unless u already enjoy it. and i mark her owrds coz tt was what i was thinking as well. She was also telling me about some other shakespeare text called king lear and it seems like a very orthodoxed story but the ending seemed..orthodox yet touching..but i wonder coz the quotes are cool something about just like silly boys play aroudn catching flies..the gods take us of simple sport...or smething like tt..has a lot of depth and tts why i wanted to do another tragedy and not comedy..

ZZzzzz.i'm so damn tired and sleepy. JUst came back from training. It was really overwhelming and a wake up call to tell me that i'm damn unfit ever since the 3 month break. I was already starting to get tired for the first two laps. i was damn shocked that i was able to do 9 laps during season and feel the exact same tiredness... gosh..im so unfit!!! i just hope i get back my stamina before season! if not im not in the b div team and i need to be in the team this time...last year was a fluke basically coz of the tough group we were in.. so despite the fact that today was just runs,sprints and match i felt tired and i sucked a hell load.... sigh..anyway life is getting more boring and i need some sort of thrill and i just can't seemt o think of any!!! i wanna jam!!! so damn tired of pushing the dates and the anxiety of wether we will fluke again or succeed

anyway i heard on the news today bout some new disease kind of thing..its like people who have artithmetic problesm like they cant count at all... now there's another excuse to fail math.but exactly how do they come about? like it cant be a virus..that's absurd..like a virus that injects "arithmetic gene killer" cells into u as host..like wtf??? i noe its from birth but honestly how does it come about??? anyone know the answer? like even dyslexia?how???

what to do for the rest of the holidays???no idea. I guess im just going to concentrate on these things;

1)some sec 3 work and math practice
2)music (jamming,gutar pro 5 stuff)
3)hockey

not in any order though..coz i would priorotise hockey above music for now.. i'm so out of shape. I just hope my sprinting improved though..coz if it hasn't i'm not going to make it into the team coz that's what's been holding me back all this while..

as for music..i can't wait to try our new lineup! but this time we just have to start really afresh..like totally new..we're gonna do easy songs and then progress. The problems with bands that eventually break up due to disagreements or whatever is coz they tend to start with a hard song and then if it doesnt work out..their mind gets all narrow and they seem to find that omg we suck..let's forget about music. climbing small steps is always what we have to do at first no matter what.

for studies, i have learnt what i;ve done wrong from last year. No distractions for every term. I'm going to be consistent,diligent,punctual yet i wil try my best not to let go of my upcoming new social life waiting for me next year. That;s the problem with alot of people including me..we just can't balance or maybe we jsut didn't know how to balance. And now that i know how to balance i'm going to succeed and if i don't at least i know i tried my best. As they say the key to balancing is to priorotise. And look on the bright side;next year no mr kooh! and i don't think there are goign to be all those minor subjects liek com studs,info skills and all. So everyone's happy! the only subjects im worried about next year is chem and math. I dunno but i kind of hate chem...and it's not like i hate math but i just started of badly..but im going to pratice so..all's well ends well!

for now i'm just going to slack for the following 2 weeks..first of all there's the stupid ace camp which i hope would make me more fit coz i need it!!!and then there's psl camp which i still havnt pay for! ARGHHH! i think im gonna write mr tan an email later...at least show that i have some initiative. BUt honestly, that admin that atteneded to me was a bitch. Rude and offensive bitch.. sigh..anyway i don't know why such an accomplished school like SJi has to have these lousy servicemen to attend to us students when we assumingly pay 200 bucks over for school fees. and what happened to "money shouldn't be a barrier for a student's school life". well, thaty bitch made me feel ashamed to be unable to pay the 30..kudos to her service :D!

gosh..the year just passed so fast...faster than the speed of sound. Like wtf..so fast u cant even catch your breath. I thought i would enjoy the end of school but im not..instead im missing all the mugging,anxiety,friends,teachers,long train rides while listening to my mp3..fantasizing..gosh so much.thank god there's still hockey where i can connect with my hockey buddies..but it still ain't gonna be the same 210 i love... i dunno any other class i would enjoy myself in. next year is definitley a double science class..full lit elect hist. anyway today's class dinner was awesome..dancing in the moonlight and playing around the fountain at bugis..was immature,embarrassing,wet,pointless yet enjoyable,memorable and fun. quote from wen han.."we're like assumed smart people acting like retards in public".. the irony of the idea of "fun". and while we were taking a group picture...and we had to squeeze in alvin said, "ok,who's sharp dick was that?" probably daryus or something who hasn't lost his v in uwc yet...sigh..unbelievable

so i feel like writign a thanksgiving so ill try to make it as short as possible but cant dedicate to everyone coz i wanna watch tropic thunder! so far only 15 mins lapped siol...

friends like joshua and dillon who have stuck with me through thick and thin, sick or shit. I would have never gotten through whatever shithole i've ever been into if it weren't for you guys... the only guys in the school that share my interest in music,p*r*,movies and simply ideas...i love u guys and sincerely u guys are my closest pals ever..

also guys like joavan,sudhirr,wen han and also nick and many more for all the fun,laughter and whatever help u guys have given me..thanks alot.

i have so many other friends to thank but i will do a proper thanksgiving tmrw and not to forget all the teachers to thank!

so..i come home and bahM! i tell my mom that my result of 65 percent may not be so good... and she says.. to her self.. "all because of hockey".. ironic thing is, previously my mom used to talk about how when parents say the son didnt do well coz of their cca they aren't raising their kid right.. so mom, what's going on? not satisfied with a 65 percent after all the hardwork? not satisifed with the fac that i screwed up term 3 coz of my laziness and not hockey..coz hockey ended like in week 3 in term 3! wtf? anyway..whats the point of doing well in term tests when it's less than 15 percent of ur overall score and they aren't going to account for it at the end of they year and instead they account more for your fye scores... i really don't feel like posting the exicitng things that happened today..coz of what my mom just said. but instead congrats bryan lum for making it junior josephinan! u deserve it

im trying not to look back at anger..but honestly how can u not? it's almost so sudden and natural and even essantial; without it you just aren't a human. Even gods have anger...they use it for the good and for the bad..but there's always a balance. We have to have really angry people to get some changes taking place..like people who openly criticize who would hurt our feelings and make us maybe feel ocstracized from the world. And,it's a feeling everyone probably felt. Like even as mundane as a trip on an mrt and u realise you're the one with the darkest skin in the train..or you go to a heavy metal concert and you're the only one wearing a pink shirt..or to make it more controversial.. you're the only one who's a jew and you face prejudice every corner you turn to. The reason for this; results in anger. Worse than mother nature's hurricane katrina or whatever... anger>destruction>someone getting hurt>someone close to him getting hurt and the cycle goes on... and someone will get hurt if someone else gets hurt coz there's always someone there for everyone... even though you are tghe last guy from ur family line..there's somebody who would feel some empathy.

so is there someone feeling empathy for me now? coz i;m so fucking pissed at what my sis and mom just said.. i have no idea why they say its for my welfare... i asked her to sign some forms..one being the PSL form and there she goes, ranting about how she didnt want me to be a psl coz the workload is alot..like WTF? she already told me its alright that i can be one..with hockey. Then she said..then u better quit hockey coz it is the root of all ur problems.. wth??? in sec 1 didnt i prove my mettle by being consistent..maybe this year i didn't coz i was playing a fool. term 1 i proveed my self..term 2 was when i salcked and so did i in term 3...not because i had hockey? hockey ended in early term 3... and finally i prove myself worthy ENOUGH in fye and then she says i got this coz there wasn't any hockey. sigh... i tried arguing back..but two women making obsolete and meaningless remarks that they think are correct make no one's life easier except them whho are the "judges"... of course they would feel they're right..my hockey is like shit now.. and she wants me to qut.. NO WAY! if it even results me to leaving the fucking house hell yeah! i'm not a softie like i always was.. i'm gonna have what i want when i need..when its necessary. I've never asked for a platystation or whatever..and never will i..i didn;t ask for a nice trip to australia or whatever.all im asking is just for me to continue what i wanna do in school..is tt so hard? its equivalent to having fun

and what i hate about it...is how she didnt walk the talk.. she already said i can do whatever i want during the holidays...that why i already have a fucking line up ready

LAMDA,training,ace camp,psl camp,drum lessons at dixies/jam with dillon and hass (reuben left the band and i aslo haver tuition for math and physics and chem getting ready..

my goodness...its 2 am and i just woke up from my everlong slumber i took just after i came back from real run. Real run was, compared to other years,for us the most
"unfun". Teacher's sleeping with us, countless of boundaries..and it was hell of a work to marshall for the rugby guys. They were spectating the beach area and the runners just didnt listen to em at all... had weird exuses like "the sand is uneven,scared my leg get injured"..."i can run in all terrains" (runs on grass and monkey see monkey do..all follow) gosh...we, hockey peeps didnt get that (thankfully) but i felt damn bad for them.. coz they already got screwed the previous night fo playing rugby near the exhibition hall there..

so i stuck with joshua,akhi and brandon goh throughout the night.. and slept with josh (not in an awkard fashion) coz of all the fucking important things we had to bring..i fucking forgot to fucking bring my fucking sleeping bag!!!!!!! i borught everything except that... genius?? so i was playing with josh's psp.. some weird zombie game called infection..was damn cool..and then latter played star wars.then josh was reading some "101 things shd know how to do" or something...one of em being the ability to perform an exorcism.. tim zhang collapsed tough.. and he got a cut on his chin..which was quite deep..so i kept going out of the room to get fresh air...coz i really couldn't sleep.

so actually it was false alarm. Results were today and motley crue was yesterday! I'm telling you..motley crue freaking owned! when joshua and i met reuben there..the crowd looked damn weird. Most of em wearing black..smoking like crazy or boozing away and some wearing motley crue merch. It was what i kind of expected but not in singapore. Many of em' came from all round asia just to catch crue. So concert started off quite weak, coz of the opener.. it was some local band called obssesion..and i have to say they're quite good for a local band but they lacked presence and since it was a motley crue concert we expected a better opener. And they played like 6 songs which pissed majority of the crowd.. and since it was my first hair metal concert, i learnt many things..

1)don't go there with a fever or you'll end up puking
2)deny all drinks offered by people twice your age
3)get the best feel u can with the chick infront of you no matter how young you are.
4)Never bring a bag along coz then your rocking will have many boundaries..
5)wear something dark to fit in
6)either enjoy or pretend to enjoy open criticism and vulgar language even though it was rated 6+
7)call a cab after the concert..you're never gonna get another cab
8)rock out anyway you want...you can even look like an asshole
9)Make sure you rock out...if not prepare to be an outcast and even booed out..
10)It's fucking CRUE, you're never gonna see em very much! enjoy mick mars playing voodoo child! like wth???!!! IT FRKING CRUE!!! TREASURE THE FUCKING EXPERIENCE AND THANK YOUR FRIEND WHO BROUGHT YOU THERE! THANKS RIBBON!

but damn..that was the best concert i had ever went for.. the people were very open and nice and pretty funny.. there was one guy who gave me a drink (alcohol) and i said no thanks.. coz i knew my mom would know i took alcohol very simply.. so joshua just grabbed the drink and drank it down and the guy was shouting.. THIS DUDE JUST LOST HIS VIRGINITY! HE JUST POPPED SOME CHERRIES! haha..but joshua took alcohol before so nothing that bad for him..but the alcohol was frking crazy for those guys coz they got drunk and they were freaking tipsy...one of em even dropped his specs and those around there were so kind to just move away for him and some were even using their lights to find it for him.. it's like you never get a more united and unanimous audience like a heavy metal concert.. most people sterotype us as vulgar,immoral cunts (although there is some truth in some) but a metal mosh is definitley the best mosh anyone can get... like they really help you despite them looking kind of scary. And so we waited until 9 plus for crue to come on and there was this curtain put on..so when it opened with em in it.. every one went fucking wild! like i became seperated from reuben and josh coz of the mosh getting moshier.. so i ended up furtther in front and far left.. crue staretd off with kickstart my heart and the crowd was freakin wild..we were screaming like mad..and seeing those hands with the metal sign was just memorable and damn significant. Then they went on with shout at the devil..and later on stuff like same ol' situation,primal scream,looks that kill,don't go away mad (just go away),girls girls (the intro was damn cool..vince asked us to put our right hand up and our left hand up and clecnh our fists and move it up and down and then there was motorbike playing and we all knew what to do..) they also played saint los angeles..which was freaking awesome and they ended off with dr feelgood .. (the crowd went super crazy) and then we asked for an encore and they played home sweet home.. with tommy on piano fro a while.. im telling u it was awesome..just awesome.. but best was vince trying to play guitar he kept doing a powert stahnd for just one chord..! haha.. and nikki sixx was awesome too..he threw like a hell load of picks at us and i almost got one but the guy in front of me was more hardcore and pushed me to get it..haha. Tommy lee was weird.. he kept saying " we love we love you.. muacks.. now i wanna hell yea! say what? a hell yea!" and mick mars as usual was freaking quiet..he didnt whisper a word.. but damn his solo was awesome..he even went to voodoo child!.. ribbon even aksed me if he was wearin a mask..haha vince was as usual vocal and cool...

Dr feelgood - motley crue



overall an awesome concert with a hard night to catch a cab..


so now..about what happened today..ahhh..the judgement day was unexpectedly satisfactory..this what i got

lit-72
geog-58
english-68
MT-68 (and that's second highest! like wth!!?!?!?)
science-71 (thankflly coz my bio..83 pulled up all my other sciences which were only 60 plus..)
math-56 (very bad for most but im satisfied coz i always fail math)
history-61

total average%-65

i wanna go at least 323 but i logically, in order to do well in upper sec i need triple science coz bio is my strong subject. okay..joavan is retarded, for getting all a1s exceprt for mother tongue.. whch (nvm i wont say it..) he got 52. btu i think ben topped the class with 78 percent someting with joavan getting a few 0.1s away..well to these muggers:fuck you!..nah just kidding..congratulations! and if u dont want triple science pelase screw off i need triple!

and also for humaities..im going for full lit and elect hist. lit was a disappointment!!!!! with joavan getting a1 i should rightfully get an a1 too.. i guess application was where i failed.. i even rmbred all the quotes.. sigh.. and also i want to show my results to jude tan who said ill end up in326..bloody hell..

after tt went nick's house to distrub him..so ordered like 5 pizzas all share.. watched the messenger whichmost ppl there all never let nick watch haha.. all talking alot of cock..but messenger was nice..but the actress was even better..

i probably hardly had an emo post to date.. and im hoping tmrw wont be an emo post..i just hope my results will be something that i can joyfully blog about

tmrw is results.. and im so not ready for it! and plus tmrw is motley crue.. i just hope i dont go for the concert half hearted coz my results suck..but im positive and i did my best so i have nothing to lose..anyway..newsflash!i'm a psl but i think others deserve it more than me..like coleman..haiz..i dunno why jude tan judge like tt!!

i also realised im kind of getting irritated by things and people more easily..especially mosquitoes they are really getting on my nerves..bite here,there and everywhere... they seriously are the worst pests..coz they are so frking light u wont know when they bite you..actually lizards are worse coz of their sickly appearance..

so today, was quite packed again..but not with excitement. Went to school to pass the ace camp documents to pe dept..but wen there nobody was there..got damn pissed..like wasted my bus fare and fucking 2 hrs travel time..then after tt took bus to orchard and took train to city hall and stoned there for a while until ribbon and dillon came to jam at dan;s.. wanted to go jade's but was booked..

today's jam was unprogressive..-.-" can't stand it..we're like going nowhere! and ribbon..if u're reading this i think i better tell u directly..please stop cracking...its only going to worsen ur health.. and ffor the welfare of the band and us..coz we care for u..i noe im probably a dick for saying this on my blog..but dillon and i cant take it. And i know i should have told u this directly...but im a penis with no balls and im a frking coward coz i have no guts to tell u tt in person.

i think im a frking weeenie. coz im not escalatin in life..im just downgrading..im a frking coward who cant express his own feelings and im just a sensitive butch.. i dunno why im like tt but..i cant be spontaneous and like super open minded..and i dunno but im changing alot...and i dont like the way its going...

and i wanted to tell this to someone..but yet again i have no guts to hurt his feelings..and jst a hint.. ur someone very close to me and i wont expose ur name

ode to somebody

stop waving those flags
like a door with no latch
ur clothes went out the window
when u screamed about her
u'r never gonna be noticed
no matter how hard u keep trying
u seek someone to attend to you
but no one sees u
stop throwing ur mask
just leave it on








i wont tell anyone who it's about.. but its pretty obviopus who its' about i dun intend to make it rhyme or whatever im just telling this to tt someone coz i have no ghuts to tell it to him in person

like i have guts myself? no ... but o0noly way to do good to people around me wen i cant do anything about myself ..is to tell them whats wrong with em..dont get me wrogn .im just telling this to you coz ur my friend

so reuben smsed me today and asked me if i wanted to go motely crue i asked my mom if she could pay some cash for me and she said couldn't coz it was not "nescessary"

ah, i guess from her point of view she's right. BUt thank you so much reuben for paying for me..i'll never forget this! like who else would pay a whole 140 for you to go motely crue? answer: a friend like reuben! thanks man!

so thursday is gonna be all about "GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS!" it's good to see that motley crue' line up is still the same afetr these years and so, it'll be awesome! Mick Mars,Vince Neil,Nikki Sixx,tommy lee (although i think he's overrated he's good)

so today, was tiring. I had to pon ace camp briefing and lamda coz had flu and had to go doctor and also had to go for some funeral prayers for my grandaunt who passed away for quite a while already...

but had to go for some shopping coz i had to get my clothes..so we went to immigration to get passport done and boy did it take long..all for just a lame chop!
sigh... and then after that, went to raffles city mall to go topman and get the 2 for $29 shirt i saw with joavan wen han and nick the time we went there for joavan's shopping which ended up with all of em also buying clothes.. so i got a plain purple shirt and a semi buttoned dull blue shirt.. i wanted the white one coz it was striped and looked better than the purple but my mom was so obssessed with the purple i dunno why?

so after that./.. (OMG! shopping with your mother is a frking pain!!!) went shopping for mom's accessories in attempt to cope with her sudden change of working environment...so her explanation was ,"my work life now..is..what do i say?..errr.. more sawwwwwphisticated...yah thats the word..and now im more..errr...what do i say?? err... morrrrrderrrrnnn..yea morderrrn..tts a good word" i swear tt was what she exactly said! haha im not making fun of my mom..but her "emphasis" is just super funnny.. so yeah..she got like quite a cool pair of sunglasses that cozt like 59 plus from robinson..like 4 earrings, wanted to buy a ring but couldnt coz her fingers were tooo big for their biggest size being 8..! but i dont know why, my mom is relatively slim! she was even thinner than the saleswoman who was attending to her
so she also got my sis another bracelt which cost quite a shell... so finally! FINALLY! we exited that galore..and i tot yet again i could have some fresh air to breathe.. however..how the fucking ever! we went down to eat and POOF! some ang moh guy from the back popped up with some aromatherapy bags and put it around my mom's neck.. i was quite alarmed..who the fuck was he? then i saw his vend at the back that said "herbal pack" then i came to my senses..so he talked alot of crap about aromatherapy for about 15 mins.. and my legs were about to collapse coz of the instability.. and then finally i tot we could go.. then however..HOW the FUCKING EVER! my momsaw watsons and went there for 20 mins to get some vichy products and then started to cook up a conversation with the saleswoman who was about her age too.. then..finally..fianlly i tot we could breathe

and we finally did.. at subway..cold cut trio (AGAIN!) with some white macadamia... (although i preferred double choc)

then went home quickly changed.. went for funeral prayers at some reallu cool temple and then met alot of old relatives we had lost touch with..and they were shocked at how my sis appeared taller than me and all.. and how my brother looked like compared to how he did wehn he was 5! haha.. my aunt was still sensitive in a funny way... haha.. like my mom was telling her about how there was this instance about an even in our haunted house (trust me weid thingas happened but u probably wouldnt believe me if i told u.. coz even i was in disbelief) and my uncle walked by and noticing she was very engrossed and then he went "BOOOO!" like twice and my aunt was frantically screaming haha...and there was an instance in the car when she was telling us how her daughter got her singing voice from her and not her father coz her father had a "johnny cash" was of singing and then my uncle was telling us how awful she sang coz she seemed like she was in 24 hours pregnancy in the delivery room.. and then my aunt wa like punching him on the arm and omg.. she pointed a middle finger again lik for the 3rd time i've ever seen.. no one realised it..and i decided not to tell my mom coz she wou8ld be kind of sensitive about it..

so went home..had a refreshing bath..listening to jane's addiction for now


peace never tasted sweeter..

finally! exams are over and done with. I am so gay now. But, i'm overly tired and my eyebags are getting worse..and thankfully math was easy.. and damn, results are already on 16 or 15th oct! thats so damn early! like cant they give us sometime to just consider how fast time has flown?? anyway watched eagle eye today, went lagging around raffles city, plaza sing, paradiz haiyah got dunno how many mroe places... eagle eye is good tough

let me blow that trumpet of yours and hit the F note..and then we'll have supernovas off ur hex! (aha..a pun)

i thining of getting my shirt from topman..so wedesday i going.. (praying for an apt size for me)

P.S: my posts are getting shorter and shorter.. (tis time, coz im damn tired wannajust dose off!)

so, my studying ain't getting any better. My routine is more like, study math 2 hours, use com 3 hours. It's just one more day of enduring and a few more days for slacking.. POOF! results, judgement day! I think i have to aim higher then what i think i'll get.. so i;m aiming for any class above 324 that has double humanities.. so its probably 335 or 334....i cant stand single humanities and i dont mind triple science coz i like bio... but i wouldn't mind if its double science..i would seriously love 333..english class with no scholars!

ah..what the heck, i think if i just pass math i should be able to go 323 at least..

finally, only one paper left... and its the challenging one for me, math paper 2..if i fail this.. im screwed..but im determined and focused without any distractions, so i should score. Anyways,bio was so far, the only science i felt so good about!

and..on to the day, best "gamabolo" ever! so went with joshua, joavan, nick, yao,dillon, tim d.. and then yao and joavan went to borders first while the rest of us had brunch at subway. So, we were taking weirdly "punning" pictures...ill put up one or two once tim sends it to me.. but u'll regret seeing it anyway.. an then joshua was restless and so in 5 mins..using 2 subway paper bags.. VIOLA! the epic subway mascot mask was made.. and there started the epic journey of how our hero ventured the streets of orchard road tickling the passer by's funny bones and even alot of curiosity! there was this ah beng.. who went damn close to joshua and looked in his eyes to see if he was someone familiar.. best reaction was definitley the finishing point..back to subway, where everyone! started looking at joshua and laughing like crazy! haha! and one of em' even took a picture.. there goes joshua's fan base! if i were a good poet i would honestly make an ode to the paper man! SOMEONE PLEASE DO HIM A FAVOUR..HE MAY BE THE BOXMAN OF SINGAPORE! and so after tt joshua... unzipped his alias persona and went into subway and awesomely no one recognized him.. so then nick's friend dropped by and she was outside and nick was talking to her also.. then josh.. put his mask back on and crept behind them..looking like a hamburgler who would rape the fuck out of em.. so then left.. and dillon was in the mrt with me and joavan and he accidentally hung on to a malay guy's spiked up hair..thinking it wAs a pole..thank god he just laughed at him and didnt' whack him up... haha what a gambolo!

exams were seriously painful... they weren't difficult or whatever. but omg, no matter how much i studied and attention i gave to the questions, i was super carelss..

i screwed up physics, i knew my content, i was just careless... section c especially..but i dont want to think about it... gets me emo.. coz now i have to own chem, my weaker science...and hopefully do well in bio... lit was easy except for essay, coz i felt weird writing it..i didnt feel comfortable at all! like as if i was writing something i had no idea of... but i think i shd get minimal 17! i btter..or my average this term like shit.. and pbq not tt bad..but i didnt have much quotes for my second trait of the pleabians.. although i shd have alo said they were unanimous! < dillon tought of that.. poem was good but i only rmbred what i shd have wrote after the exam...haha..

so math was another screw up even though it was easy..geog was alright excpet a few mistakes, with the reservoir, the mountain range, the protocol..

so chem tmrw.damn ..better do well..

and nother reason to do well for math is..
coz my tuition teacher mr gould, wants to know my results for math..and i dunno why whenever i go his house for tuition, i happen to be able to do everything